Yesterday was my parents’ 49th wedding anniversary! I blame them for my marrying later in life (39!) as I held them up as an example and wasn’t willing to settle for anything less than a true life partner.
Believe me as I approach my 3 year wedding anniversary I am in no way an expert in marriage. I also don’t judge those that have divorced as I am aware sometimes it is the only option or the best option. However, I do think marriage has become disposable. In this age of instant gratification there are very few things we need to wait for–we have hundreds of TV channels at our disposal, we can order pretty much anything our heart desires off the internet and have it shipped to us the very next day, the ways we can entertain ourselves are limitless and immediate–Netflix, Pandora, Kindle, etc. So it isn’t too much of a leap to suspect that we are collectively guilty of not having the patience that marriage requires. Marriage is absolutely gratifying but not always immediately so–it is a long game. There are ebbs and flows in any marriage and some of the ebbs can be very low and be so long lasting that they feel permanent. But in my mind that is the time to roll up your sleeves and really live the “for better or worse” part of your wedding vows.
Electronics have made our world much smaller and much more accessible–there are so many easy ways to meet a romantic partner–social media, blog link ups and of course dating sites. Is it too tempting to bail knowing there are so many options at the ready?
The love I have for my husband is profound and I firmly believe that the depths are due to the fact we have weathered terrible storms together that seemed unweatherable. We have had wonderful times together as well of course and I cherish those memories but it is the difficult patches that define our relationship for me–knowing he is there NO MATTER WHAT makes me feel safe and secure (and vice versa).
Every marriage is of course different and in no way is mine a cookie cutter version of my parents’ marriage but I am confident that i have found that life partner that I held out for all of those lonely years.