Yesterday I wrote about the unrealistic expectations about motherhood that I had during my pregnancy.
Today I am going to write about the moments during Julia’s first 20 months in which God reminded me to have a little more humility.
Am not too proud of the fact that I was self- satisfied right out of the gate. During Julia’s first couple of weeks I was for sure tired, nursing every couple hours is exhausting. But my body adjusted surprisingly well to new sleep expectations– four non consecutive hours of sleep and I was pretty functional. So functional that I became self-congratulatory– motherhood and keeping house seemed easy , it was just a matter of @budgeting time”. Beyond the normal housekeeping duties I had plenty of time to reorganize closets and clean out junk drawers, I couldn’t believe that motherhood was considered a ‘tough job’. Um, I wasn’t taking into consideration that it is a small window that babies are so sleepy and easily contained so that it wouldn’t always be so easy to to keep a clean house! Soon enough thus became my reality:
When Miss Julia was six months old we attended church one Sunday and I was just beaming over how adorably I had dressed her up. She had a little tutu outfit that made her look like a fairy and I had carefully matched a flower shaped headband. During the service I will admit my mind wandered to her outfit and how impossibly cute it was. After the service I was carrying Julia around the church parlor chatting with friends ( and hoping they would notice her outfit) when I realized Julia felt different. She was definitely more streamlined. In a moment of horror I realized I wasn’t feeling a padded diaper butt! I was deep in the parlor at that point so as politely as I could I quickly thread my way through the clusters of elderly parishioners not making eye contact as this was not a time for conversation. Luckily we made it to a restroom and I got a diaper on Little Miss– it was truly a miracle that she had gone 2 hours without a diaper with no accidents!!
The third example of a smug mommy moment was just last week and was what inspired this post. Julia and I have begun swim lessons and the first two lessons she did GREAT– she loved bring in the pool and followed direction well. I couldn’t help but compare her self confidence to her classmates ( pool mates?) who were at times fussing and clinging to their mommas. Misplaced pride apparently as the last two lessons have seen a total reversal– Julia has been the one clinging and fussing while the other toddlers are gaining confidence and new skills!
It is a wonderful thing to delight in our children and in the wonders of mommyhood. But I need to remember that delighting in Little Miss should not include comparing her to other children or myself to other mothers– it truly is the thief of joy. Feeling superior only feels good in a fleeting way, you end up quickly feeling much worse. Sort of like when I think I want cotton candy at a fair– it never ends well, I end up nauseated and regretful!
I can’t believe tomorrow is Friday! I’ll be back for Friday Favorites.