Mine are probably pretty boring. Probably the one in most frequent rotation is telling my husband with implied urgency that I have to use the bathroom. In actuality I sit on a closed toilet seat for 10 heavenly minutes reading magazines while he chases our toddler. Oops!
Since I can’t think of any whoppers from my life I am going to borrow from my friend’s life. I promise this is not friend in air quotes, I am not drawing from my own life here, am not this brazen! Brace yourself, this is bold.
Years ago my friend was a bridesmaid in her friend’s wedding. It was a lavish affair held in an upscale resort. Everything very elaborate and top notch. Sadly within a month of the nuptials the couple had separated. The bride needed a place to stay so moved in with a third friend. What began as a temporary arrangement, segued into something feeling permanent as the months passed. The bride had a decent career but seemed resistant to contributing to household expenses. Meanwhile she was out at all hours partying. She was spending increasing amounts of time with new, wilder friends. Her former group of friends which included my good friend implored her to get some help and seek counseling as being so out of control was clearly due to psychic pain from her imploded marriage. But she was not ready or interested in seeking help. Finally the friend who’d been hosting her for a year, rent free asked her to move out. At that point my friend who was also fatigued with the bride’s antics was feeling resentful about the expensive wedding gift she’d purchased ( and never received a thank you note for, no thank you for being a bridemaid either). Her wedding gift was a set of Waterford crystal stemware, obviously it had cost hundreds of dollars. She noticed that Kohl’s had a similar looking knick off set for $40. In a staggeringly bold move shortly before the bride moved out of their mutual friend’s home, my friend while the bride was at work, swapped the Waterford crystal glasses for the Kohl’s version!!!! This all occurred about 15 years ago and to my knowledge the wayward bride was never the wiser and my friend happily uses her pretty Waterford on a regular basis. I could never be that bold!!!!
This was fun! I look forward to enjoying everyone’s falsehoods!